!!! MEDICAL WARNING !!!
Caution! Reading this blog post may be hazardous to your health. Always consult a physician before attempting to read any blog post containing information about Twilight - especially about Bella’s Engagement RingTM. Twilight Teez will not be responsible for any medical conditions such as heart attacks, strokes, loss of voice due to lengthy High-pitched Squealing Syndrome (HPSS), loss of hearing by others who have to endure said person suffering from HPSS, or any other physical malady which may develop after reading this post. Twilight Teez will also not be responsible for any physical damage that may occur to people, furniture, floors, buildings or other structures due to excessive jumping for joy, spinning, or running frantically around the house. It is advised that the reader be sitting down and, preferably, physically restrained while reading this post. It is advised that others in the room be fitted with earplugs prior to the reading of this post by any person susceptible to HPSS. Do not read this post while swimming, taking a shower, eating, or drinking. Do not read this post while flying at high altitudes. Do not operate heavy machinery or drive a vehicle for a minimum of 1 hour (possibly longer) after reading this post.
Reading this post may cause dizziness, difficulty breathing, excessive salivation, tightness in the chest, nausea, vomiting, muscular twitching, incontinence, loss of bowel control, hair loss, excessive sweating, uncontrollable high-pitched shrieking, and a whole slew of other maladies that we can’t even think of at this time.
Parents: Twilight Teez will not be held responsible for any whining, begging, pleading, crying, swooning, complaining, fretting, fussing, griping, grumbling, mewling, moaning, pouting, sniveling, wailing, or teeth gnashing experienced by your teenager after reading this post.
This has been your medical warning.
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